Confession, I’ve Checked Out

Currently I’m a kindergarten teacher, but have decided that this is my last year of teaching, period. I’ve accepted that teaching no longer makes me happy, and I’m ready to make a change. February came and we teachers were given our intent forms. I’ve never been so happy to turn in this yearly form marked “I’m resigning” (after the school year finishes of course). If I felt I could leave now I would. I’m ready. I’m done.

Knowing that I have 60 school days left (yes I’m counting!) makes it incredibly hard to stay focused and not feel like I’d rather be doing something else. I think when you feel like there’s no out, you tend to try to make the best of it. I do have an out though, and I’m over trying to make the best of it. I keep telling myself to buckle down, enjoy my last months as a teacher, make a difference in these children’s lives, be more patient, fight through the annoyances, and stay positive.

I can and should do a better job of these, but frankly I don’t want to. I’m struggling to find the motivation to care, to be patient, to find what I’m doing important. It is difficult to not focus on the annoyances, the problems with the education system, the fact that we push these kids too hard too early. The list could go on.

How do I stop this cycle? Yes I only have 60 days left, but I don’t want to spend them feeling like this. How do I get out of my head and stop to smell the roses. There has to be good things happening in my day. Sadly I’m struggling to see them.

This very blog is called Make It Sunny, and yet I can’t, and partially don’t want to “make it sunny.”Sometimes I feel like I’d rather wallow in my misery.

What are ways you get through a difficult task that you must complete? I’d love to hear from you. I could really use some advice.

Peace and love,

Jesse

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Confession, I’ve Checked Out

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s